Monday, 24 August 2015


I used to want everything I said to make perfect sense to someone else, because I was looking for Acceptance.

Really, that's what it came down to. Acceptance. The external "rewards" of making perfect sense, whether on the bowling floor or in a college class or in a corporate job meant I might be OK ... I might not be a freak or a weirdo or abnormal.

So striving for perfect sense made, well, perfect sense.

But as I grow in my own self-awareness, I realize that I don't really want to make "perfect sense." After all, there is no such thing as perfect, which I didn't realize growing up. Perfectionism is a curse until you become aware of what's actually behind the persona of perfectionism: a longing for acceptance, in my case.

I always had crazy, wacky, out-there ideas.Briefly to describe :: CURIOUSITY. As far back as I can remember, I was asking questions no one else was, and wondering why they all "got it" when I wanted more information. Eventually I learned to stop questioning and follow the crowd so I could fit in, as much as a 5'4"(referring to inches n height) 10-year-old can fit in. I wanted desperately to have some companionship with my wacky thought patterns, but since I didn't feel I could share them for fear I'd be chastised, I took what I could get.

How I longed to make "perfect sense" to someone!

And now, many years (and quite a few more inches in height) later, I find that I really don't want to make perfect sense at all. In fact, I want to INVITE DIALOGUE, which means we all get to learn from each other while asking questions that may challenge that "perfect sense" sense. When all the players in a dialogue feel refreshed and enlivened, that's my definition of a good day's work.

You never know when we might discover and create our own "perfect sense."

And this upcoming semester, will surely be a pre-intro for getting into the industry. Math-Geeks! Risk-Geeks!
Welcome 3rd year.
After all, may allah ease my journey. To learn more. To contribute a bit to the planet. To enchant my parents. Ultimately, be a good caliph to my god. 

Sunday, 5 July 2015


assalamualaikum... hye there !

guess what, holiday mood is ON!! yeayyy =)
i've finished my exam 3 weeks ago, and you can guess how excited i am for the moment ,enjoying the holiday. Home isn't just a place, but it is a feeling..Bid my farewell to sophomores year, n hello Year 3 !!
Being a financial mathematics student for 2 years,,pheww..((you gonna have new perspective upon numbers. Haha)).
Trained to be well-versed with theoritically-written mathematics concept ((calculus, algebra, linear algebra, differential equation, probability for scientist,)), accounting practice ((financial management, financial accounting, financial engineering)), economics knowledge ((micro~,macro~,insurance&takaful, theory of hibbah&mathematical compound interest)),,mathematical computerization, object programming..........ok, lot more to be listed (these were up to second yr only)). Don't make this post absolutely absurd. =p

Since there will be new registration this upcoming Sept, so here we go juniors:
#What makes financial mathematics differ from actuarial science??
= there isn't so much. It just that, both graduates are still obliged to sit for few professional exams to be qualified as an actuarist/ fm. There's isn't much senses for you to take actuarial science course if you tend to refrain from taking those professional examination papers ;) ((noted that you will be needed to strive yourselves for this purpose. I mean, you won't be taught personally to pass them, but need to make reviews on sample of pass years.)) ((and please be noted that there are pro&cons of taking those professional exams. I mean, it depends on your personal goal.))
Learn by heart. This is not all about numbers. You got to practice those theory in real industry.How to control the flow of money, curbing lot of specified risk that might be encountered n so on. Economic is something flexible. This is not like other pure sciences course where you can simply predict the consequence of  your action, to be perfectly certain. Fluctuation do surely exist ((Doubtful debt, accruals..etc))
Both financial mathematician n actuarist are responsible for managing risk, structuring economic plan for a company, restructure budget.

As the financial market is getting more volatile these days, enterprise risk management becomes an essential component of big corporations. To furnish the demand for personnel of this profession, it is thus, BSc (Hons) Actuarial Science & Financial Mathemaics was developed; to produce graduate competent in knowledge and skills for financial investment management, assets valuation and risk management for various financial assets such as equities, bond, FOREX, commodities and derivatives. This programme exposes us to both theoretical and practical approaches to investment analysis, security analysis, and portfolio and risk management. Not to be left, comprehensive study of money markets, financial instruments, financial planning, banking and corporate financial management, the essential working knowledge for executives in the financial industry. 

#What can you be with such qualification?

hihi, a bit messy for me to clarify it all here. We are all trained with financial skills, accounting & application of technological tools in financial industry. Every company will surely hv their own financial dept. That's where u'll be working then. Somehow, there's a wide range of choices!! You can even get to involve in education. (economic sifu)

You could probably be a qualified chief financial officer(CFO), chief risk officer(CRO), diplomatics officer, banks officer, financial executives...etc....
In case you are interested to be a certified accountant, as usual, nothing comes at ease, there are few exams need to be taken to be listed in ACCA (accounting board society).

ok, that's all. Hoping this will benefit you guys. I'm in holiday mood tho! Ramadhan kareem everyone. Fi hifzillah :) salam...

Wednesday, 28 January 2015


salam . I guess this is my first post after my  long "hibernation" from blogging world. Indeed. Haha. 
One of my friends tweeted this quite a while back: Writers don’t write because they want to write. They write because they need to write.
Yerppss,,i'm not a writer though, by profession i mean.
But, yes, i'm a writer by passion. You can guess how much i have loved to write, be it back from my school days, and up till now. Bingo!! 
Being currently a second-year degree students of science financial mathematics,,no, there's no such thing that urges me to write a lot. I just need to practise,practise,practise n yes, practise ((say these out loud till you feel like to vomit. It's up to you)) kihkihh.
Because i can categorize myself as the one who is "a-brilliant-on-calculation-through-practices" . ,,means that i'm not that lucky enough like certain out there who are gifted for their natural remarkable skills in math,((not to be thwarted by luck n chances okay :) )) but yes, it's proven that i just need a bit effort to stand at the same level with them.
God will never change your fate until you make efforts to make it changed :)

ok,, i'm not intending to write on formal things here. Let me call this entry as "sembang santai tapi ada manfaat". Can i ? ok.
Let's have a little checklist that keeps going through my mind:
 ~ i'm 21! (not official till the 17th of september). but yet, when people trying to ask about my age, i insist on being 20). Keeping in mind that i'm  still a child,but then realise the fact that i'm growing elder only when i start to receive wedding invitation from the friends of same batch. Starting to babble at my own :" lahh, dah 21 rupanya,,rasa macam baru 9 tahun semalam,,zaman pergi sekolah masih main ceper / batu seremban/ main ting-ting , nyonyot lollipop sampai merah bibir konon pakai lipstick . Huh , nostalgic right!
~i'm 21 ! But yet, is there much contribution of mine (?) Not to say upon society, but the nitty-gritty is upon my parents,sister , n family. Because they are the spinal cord of mine. Because they are my all. Because everytime i feel like to choke, they're the one who give me some sip of water. What else ?
~i'm 21 ! Things i've done for my deen. My own preparation for the hereafter if i fell asleep tonight and never wake again. Sounds scary right? ,but that's the the fact that not a single person on this earth can ever deny.  Is it suffice to bring me into the paradise or help me to answer the "questions" (?)

#CarpeDiem! Grab the moment now. Go with the flow. Calm. Sail through this journey stage by stage.
Achieve the dream. Do good. Contribute. Spouse(?)~only hoping to meet with someone who is a good servant to my Lord, good son to his parents, as well as being a good one for my parents, smart-thinking, moderate, humble, n yes, can guide me whenever i'm so preoccupied with this wordly life. 

Istiqamah is the “Islamic” term for it. And it’s highly valued in the Islamic world. It’s pretty obvious why. So persist, Zahirah. Istiqamah. Moga dipermudah jalan seterusnya.